Rules of Attraction

By  | 

Relationships are based on a high level of chemistry, whether it is artificial, booze induced, or real. But when you think of the word, ‘Soul-Mate’ most of us visualize love as divine intervention, and not like a science experiment. But what is going on behind the scenes of our bodies, that can make our emotional connection with another being so powerful & fulfilling?

In the early stages, what most people like to refer to as the “crush”, Phenethylamine, also known as PEA or ‘the Love Molecule’, start their slow release in the brain, creating the similar effects of indulging in chocolate, or a very mild version of an ecstasy trip. The light-headed, giddy school girl effect, is a natural symptom of what your body is choosing to love based on first sight. The racing thoughts, sweaty palms, & urge to see the person again, are all an indicator that your Love Molecules are hard at work.

If everything goes smoothly, & you start to see the individual more, your body starts to produce what is known as Oxytocin, or the ‘Love Hormone’. This chemical is mainly found in women who are breast feeding, or in labor, but recently has been under study to prove its effects in long term relationships. So far, the study has successfully proven that Oxytocin is found both in males & females during sexual arousal, as well as in creating romantic attachments. This hormone is one of the reasons for feeling secure and stress free around your mate during all steps of the relationship.

Now, that’s just the norms for your body chemistry. What happens when you start introducing man-made chemicals to the equation?

Alcohol, is classified as a depressant, which effects all parts of the body by slowing down each organism. It has been proved to decrease reaction time in individuals, as well as contributing to poor decision making among individuals of all ages. Between 0% & .05% blood alcohol level is all it takes to start the process of affecting the frontal lobe of the brain, which is more than enough to give anyone the beer goggles. It has also been proven plausible on Mythbusters, that when alcohol is ingested to the point of being drunk, your judgment of others appearance starts to become more accepting. Alcohol increases the production of Phenethylamine by four times the normal amount released during uninhibited stimulation. This same effect can be found in other mind altering chemicals, such as cocaine, various muscle relaxers, & even with harder drugs like heroin, ecstasy and some amphetamines.

With that being said, in no way, shape or form should any of these substances be used for the sole purpose of getting laid. Real companionship should be a mixture of your body chemistry, along with common interests & having unique hobbies that you can enjoy for alone time. Understanding the way your body works is a great way to decide whether your heart is truly in it, or if it’s just your mind playing tricks on you.


Sites used for informational pieces have been linked above. Credit given to Wikipedia for breakdown of chemicals in definition & effects.

Boston based writer with a passion for all things nerdy. Founder & Editor in Chief of and