Dirty Talk 101

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KEEP IT SIMPLE: “What I want to do to you… What I am going to do to you… What I just did to you…”

To me, auditory stimulation during foreplay & sex is the key to a successful orgasm. Whether it be in music, the ambient sound of nature surrounding us, or your hot voice whispering & moaning in my ear. Dirty talk in itself is an art.

But what if you don’t know how to talk dirty? Or you feel awkward doing so? Here are some simple things you can do to up your verbal game in the bedroom.

There is one simple rule to remember: Keep your sexy talk in a future, present, and past format. This sounds clinical, so let me translate in a sexier way:  ‘What I’m going to do to you, what I am doing to you, & what I just did to you.’ Make sense?

While warming up, it’s appropriate to keep things tame. That means during your foreplay you should concentrate on the little things. Here are some samples of things you can whisper sexily into your partners ear. Nothing is hotter than hearing these phrases with a hot, deep, raspy voice:

  • I’ve been thinking about you all day
  • You smell amazing
  • Your skin is so soft (or any variation of ‘Your [body part] is so [adjective]‘)
  • Look how hard/wet you got me
  • I want to taste your rock hard cock/juicy or wet pussy if you are practicing oral sex. When you are down there be sure to keep it going with, ‘You taste so good.’

Ready to take things to the next level & transition to sex? You can easily & enthusiastically show this by hastily screaming or moaning things like:

  • I want you
  • Take me now
  • My ______ is yours
  • Ride me / Fill me up

Or some sweeter possibilities:

  • I want you inside me
  • I want to make love to you
  • I want to make you feel good

Now that you’re feeling the motion of the ocean, try not to think about your words so much. Dirty talk should come naturally, and if it doesn’t for you, just remember to say what you feel. Of course, if the sex isn’t up to par, don’t take that as the opportunity to be rude & say, ‘You suck,’ or, ‘I’ve had better sex with myself.’ Use your next few phrases to build up his or her confidence & motivate them to try different (better) techniques. Saying these things should benefit both you & your partner in the long run:

  • I love it when you f*@k me hard
  • Harder/Faster/Deeper – be sure to say it like you mean it. As a female, moaning these loudly seems to be the ultimate way to get your guy going
  • Go slow/slower – best way to slow it down to making love. Sometimes it’s great just to feel someone deep inside you.
  • That feels amazing/Oh my god!/Right There/Don’t stop! – These are all prime ways to let your partner know they’re doing a good job & to keep it up.. or don’t stop!

Screaming your partners name is also a great way to let your partner know that you are 100% into them, & you aren’t off fantasizing about someone else while they’re being intimate with you. If you are a couple who has been together for a while, or who has already passed this point in your relationship, whispering, ‘I love you,’ in your partner’s ear while making love or taking it slow is a great way to make you both shake irresistibly with passion.

Also be sure to let your partner know when you are going to orgasm, how it’s going to feel, and what you want to be doing / looking at in the moment. ‘I’m gonna cum all over your ____’ works well.

The key to doing dirty talk right is not being afraid to put yourself out there. Be nasty. Be dirty. Be silly. Be spontaneous. And most importantly have fun with it. If you feel like it’s being too forced, slow it down a bit. Communication with your partner is a great way to find out what they want to hear, and what kind of sexual desires they have that you could play off of. Awaken the beast within you and let go of all your inhibitions. You’re partner is doing a great job in bed, so why not let them know? You can bet the favor will more then be returned both physically and emotionally.

Boston based writer with a passion for all things nerdy. Founder & Editor in Chief of and